I thought I had COVID no less than 10 times before I actually got COVID. I thought I had cancer a million times before I got cancer. I cannot tell if therapy is actually paying off and I am spending less time in my head imagining things or my window between shitty events is actually getting smaller.
My cancer showed up as a rash on my nipple. I went to a dermatologist who said it was probably "runner's nipple". I have never run a day in my life and would and let any bear, robber, or old boyfriend catch me before I ran one step, so I did not believe her. I asked for a biopsy of what was probably eczema.
Cut to my fever and a slight cough on the evening of February 26. Similar to the likelihood of me ever getting runner’s nipple, the chances of getting COVID were even smaller. I am fanatically clean by nature, double-mask, militantly social distance and eschew indoor dining. Plus I was convinced getting COVID would be professional suicide (cue triage plan that included selling the remaining equipment, working at Club Pilates under an assumed name and living in the studio).
I canceled classes the day after the fever appeared and got both a rapid and PCR test. I was told the rapid test with symptoms (IF they were COVID symptoms is 75% accurate). It was negative. I did not believe it. Sue me. I went to pop-up testing site and asked if I should get another rapid test because I am pretty sure I had COVID against all odds. This time I was told the rapid test is 95% accurate. I believed it then and went home to figure out how much money I lost by canceling classes.
Saturday is my big-money day (when I see the most clients). While I was getting ready, I decided to check my patient portal. It has been less than 24 hours since the PCR test. It was positive. I closed the studio for 11 days, alerted everyone I had been in contact with that week, thanked God my boyfriend was too sick to break up with me and took to my bed.
I felt like I had a giant sinus infection without a sinus infection. I had a brief stint to the ER because it seemed like I had not drawn a deep breath in over eight hours. I was pretty sure I was getting oxygen if I was um, breathing and the ole oximeter was reading 97, but I had a rash on my nipple that was breast cancer and as near as I can tell I got COVID because I thought I had it too many times, so a heart attack seemed imminent.
What I did have is a lot of time to contemplate the great mystery of how I got COVID. When I was diagnosed with cancer, more than a few people asked me how I got it. Since I did not have the BRCA gene, I never understood the question.
Scenarios were thrown out: I have a huge sweet-tooth, I had my first child at 34 or I internalize too much stress. I settled on the answer that I am a bad person. Seemed like what they wanted to hear until my next oldest sister got and recovered from breast cancer and my oldest sister got and did not recover from brain cancer. I was then able to deflect the question by saying we grew up next to a nuclear power plant. Enough said.
I am far too busy contemplating what could happen to ponder why stuff actually happens. That is easy, because it does. What is the take-away on all this? Nothing. I can’t tell you how I got cancer, COVID or why I lied about growing up next to a nuclear power plant. I just did.
But I can tell you this. I had COVID and taught with COVID for two days and NONE of my clients got it. Not a one. Oh yeah, and NONE of my clients gave it to me. Not a one. Let’s be clear, in my world there is a completely huge, non-existent risk of getting COVID if all safety protocols are followed within a gym setting.
So, I welcome you back to the studio with open arms from 6-feet away. Thank you for your endless support and love. Despite not knowing how I got cancer or COVID, I can tell you this with certainty: The studio might be one of the safest places for you to hang right now.
See you in class.
Jan
Disclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer: I take COVID and all safety protocols a 100% seriously and I am in no way suggesting anyone do anything otherwise. I do not know how I got COVID or why my clients did not but that does not mean I believe the spread of the virus cannot be mitigated by being very diligent about wearing masks and social distancing.